“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

Back in August, I decided that it was time to set a goal of stepping on the NPC Figure stage again. I had competed in May 2015 and had so much fun that I thought it would a great mini-goal to make before the end of the year. Each time I compete, there is always a part of me that says “Ok, this will really be the last time.” But I truly love the process of competing and so I always seem to come back for more. Lucky for me, I have a very supportive family who knows that this is pretty much a lifestyle for me. Whether I am in full competition prep or not, my daily routine doesn’t change. The only REAL change for me is that I cut out any cheat meals that I would normally allow myself during the week and have to stay away from donut shops, which if you know me, is a real chore in itself.

I have been competing now for 12 years and so to say that it is a way of life for me now is the best way to explain it. I eat healthy 90% of the time allowing myself a cheat meal 2 times a week. Obviously, if there is a holiday or special event, I don’t miss out on any of the good stuff, I just know my limits and try to keep everything in moderation. Because this is how I am year round, it makes prepping for a show fairly routine for me. And then mother nature took over. As I approached my 40’s, my bodily didn’t want to respond quite the same way it had during previous preps. I definitely had to push a little bit harder and this last prep, my body definitely had its share of injuries. Half way through my prep for the Iron Games, I found out I had tendinitis of the elbow (Tennis Elbow) which makes it almost impossible to lift or squeeze anything with my left hand. So, that definitely created challenges for me. It’s hard to put on muscle size when you can barely lift a weight. I spent most of my days mom-tasking (that’s like multi-tasking only you do WAY more than the average Joe). I would make dinner, ice my elbow, take Advil, give my daughters a bath, ice my elbow, put the girls to bed, ice my elbow…..you get the picture. There were days that I would drive the girls to school in the morning and would use the 10-15 minute drive to ice my elbow some more.

Needless to say, the injury definitely made me doubt myself and my capabilities of completing this prep. I had several weeks where I felt so down on myself. It was hard for me to understand how I could be do EVERYTHING right…and still not see the progress that I hoped to see in my physique. I’ve never been good at asking for help. In all honestly, I don’t think that I have EVER asked for help and I’ll be the first to admit that it’s a huge downfall of mine. I tend to take on as much as humanly possible and then right before I’m about to crack, God comes through with some miracle to help me out. I know I shouldn’t rely on that every time and I should really work on my awful stubbornness….but hey, that’s just me. Take it or leave it. However, when your carb depleted and right in the thick of competition prep, your mind is never at 100% and the best thing to do is lean on friends and family for support. I’m lucky to have several people in my life who provided me with pep talks and words of encouragement when I needed them most. I am my own worst critic and most of the time, I pick myself apart with insecurities. But believing in myself is something that I’m growing into. I have to. I have two beautiful daughters who look up to me for guidance and encouragement. What kind of mother would I be if I didn’t show them how important it is to believe in yourself? It’s funny but I seem to learn the BEST lessons about that from them. When they are struggling with something and I sit down with them and we talk about it, I end up being the one who walks away with the best lesson learned.

My daughters might not ever know just how much of an influence they are to me, but I can honestly say that the reason I set so many goals for myself and try so hard to achieve success in everything I do, is because I want them to see that they can achieve EVERYTHING they set their mind to. I want them to know that when you try something, whether your win or lose, you learn a valuable lesson about yourself. So many times during this prep I got discouraged and wanted to quit. But I kept going. I didn’t want them to see me fail and I definitely didn’t want to explain to them that I was giving up on my goal. Amazingly enough, I learned a valuable lesson about myself in the process. I underestimate myself. I’m always proud of how hard I work as a mother, but I have never really been proud of how hard I work on being the best ME that I can be. And during this prep, the level of perseverance really made me feel proud. I had several pep talks with myself and countless days journaling all my emotions, but in the end, I learned just how important it is to believe in myself and my ability to persevere. That in itself made this entire process worthwhile for me. Oh, and see mu daughters smiling faces in the audience while they screamed for me when I came out on stage….that’s priceless.